| Written by Tony Gosgnach, Catholic Register Special,
|
Views : 380  |
 HAMILTON, Ont. - Rita Mooney says a love of children, the desire to make a difference and a dose of patience are all important ingredients in successful foster parenting. She should know, having cared as a foster parent for well over 200 children in her home over a remarkable span of 40 years.
“It hasn’t seemed like 40 years — the time has flown by,” she said, sitting in the dining room of her cosy east Hamilton mountain home recently. “I’m still enjoying it and am not ready to give it up yet … I have never thought, ‘I’ve got to go this many years.’ It’s just happened … I might as well enjoy it for however long I’m going to do it for.”
According to the Hamilton Catholic Children’s Aid Society, Mooney is its first foster parent to reach the 40-year mark of service.
“She is an amazing lady,” said Marden Hewitt, a resource supervisor with the Hamilton CCAS. “She loves what she does and loves having the kids in her home and spending time with them, helping them grow and develop into young individuals.”
Apart from parenting, Mooney has also been extremely active in other aspects of fostering, added Hewitt. Mooney helped found the local Foster Parent Association, has been on its executive (including serving as president for a number of years), currently sits on the CCAS’s board of directors and has been involved in a number of committees within the agency.
“She’s provided a warm and very loving home” to children from infancy up to 18 years of age throughout her four decades of service, said Hewitt.
“She’s definitely very active and remains involved as much as she possibly can. She doesn’t seem to be tiring at all.”
Mooney and her late husband at the time had a five-year-old son in 1967 when they decided to adopt a child and then found they still had room in their home for more children.
Church bulletins were advertising the need for more foster parents, so the couple decided to go that route.
“We started fostering the following year,” said Mooney. “We put in for one and I think we ended up with three that first summer. We started out with one, a little boy, and later that summer, we had two sisters, all at the same time.”
She enjoyed the experience so much — “I was smitten,” said Mooney — that she has continued ever since. Save for a two-month period after the death of her first husband and remarriage in 1997, she has continually fostered, also adding two more adopted children along the way.
“It’s very rewarding. I’ve had children who went for out adoption, kept in touch and had great, great outcomes” in their lives, she said.
She recalled one girl who initially was very easy to get along with, but then got in with some bad company, changed dramatically and became very difficult.
“She finally went back home, then came back two or three years later and apologized for her behaviour at the time,” said Mooney. “She had changed her life around after a few upsets and so on.”
In general, children — who most often come from homes marred by drug and alcohol misuse and physical abuse — improve after a foster parenting experience, she said.
“When you first start out, you think you’re going to change the child and do so much for the child. Yes, you can do so much for the child, but you’re also dealing with children who are coming from very troubled backgrounds. You have to be realistic sometimes — the changes are small, not huge. You don’t know what influence you’re going to have on that child later in life. I always feel, give them a loving home for awhile and then they know what that’s about. Maybe later they’ll remember that when they’ve gone home to conditions that aren’t always the best.”
The basic formula for a foster parent, she said, is to love the children, give them a normal routine and show them what home and family life can be like.
“Giving them self-esteem makes a big difference, too.”
Along the way, the support of others is important, she said.
“Through the years, friends, other foster parents and my own family have really helped," she said. "I think that’s the only way you can do it. You can’t do it as a closed unit. You need help from lots of people and the agency has been really supportive … For so many years, I’ve depended on my neighbours and other foster parents.
“I have a brother and sister right now,” she added. “They’re two-and-half and 15 months … It looks like they’ll be going home some time this summer. I just had a little one whom I had for nearly two years go home to mom a couple of weeks ago.”
Mooney said that although one might think she has more than earned a respite from foster parenting, she isn’t ready to give it up just yet.
“I can’t go on forever, but as long as I enjoy it and don’t get up in the morning and say, ‘Oh my gosh, another day’ … At this point, I figure at least another year and we’ll take it after that.”
(Gosgnach is a freelance writer in Hamilton, Ont.)
Recommend this article...
|
Youth Speak News 
(0 vote)
