But then came marriage, children, two recessions and health problems. I became sceptical about the value of setting goals and fascinated by prayerfully observing God’s will for my business and my life. In many cases my only choice was to surrender to Him rather than set personal goals. How do you maintain a hectic travel schedule when holding a new-born in your arms? How do you attain a goal of being better organized when recovering from surgery?

It happened again this Christmas season. I planned a Christmas cookie exchange and our annual skating party. I dreamt up small and wonderful gifts for family and friends. I wanted to shower unexpected gifts on a few special souls. I planned to host a big family party. I wanted to buy special prayer cards for the kids in my Rosary Club.

But then, at the beginning of the Christmas season, things happened: a small car accident in the family, a skating incident that required emergency surgery for my daughter, a nasty bug that struck three family members. There it was again, God’s will to remind me that my plans are never really my own. Instead of parties, hospitals; instead of delicacies, pills; instead of invitations, cancellations; instead of pleasure, pain; instead of company, isolation. I was being gripped by ugly feelings, not embraced by heavenly consolations.


I sometimes wonder if the goals I make to improve my character might also be in vain. I have often said to my spiritual director words along the lines of: “With all of my heart and soul, I want to be kind, gentle, nurturing, patient and full of humility. But for the life of me, no matter how hard I try, I seem unable to do it. In all honesty, I know that if I say ‘From this date forward, I will be less sarcastic, eat moderately and never be jealous,’ I won’t be able to do it. There are so many ways I would like to change.”

I have wrestled for years with the conflict between goal setting and submission. Yes, let God’s will be done, but surely He doesn’t want us to live chaotically without goals or resolutions, does He? Through making resolutions comes sanctification, doesn’t it? 


My spiritual journey through life now seems to be somewhat of a combination of goal setting and submission. Events that He allows to happen, good and bad, provide opportunities to acquire virtues and graces I desperately need. Invariably, I do have a choice because there is always a recourse to prayer.
Sickness has often taken me from a doing mode, to a being mode. That can be difficult to handle. But when suffering knocks at my door, I now say, “Oh, it’s time to spend more time with Him.”

With a new year comes new goals. Among our resolutions for 2011 we should set goals that make room for God. Consider inviting a saint to accompany you through the year. Or make a commitment to Eucharistic Adoration. Invite God into your plans.

Throughout 2010 I reflected on the wisdom of Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, who once said: “We are at Jesus’ disposal. If He wants you to be sick in bed, if He wants you to proclaim His work in the street, if He wants you to clean the toilets all day, that’s all right, everything is all right. We must say, ‘I belong to you. You can do whatever you like.’ And this is our strength, and this is the joy of the Lord.”

To guide us in 2011 we could contemplate the words of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton. “The first end I propose in our daily work is to do the will of God; secondly, to do it in the manner He wills it; and thirdly to do it because it is His will.” 


So, yes, set goals but always pray that His will be done.

(Pilarski, a professional speaker and consultant, can be reached at www.dorothypilarski.com.)