Wedding vows will be sealed with first kiss

  • June 17, 2010

After getting my B.A., M.A. and M.J., I sometimes wondered if I’d ever be a “Mrs.” But here I am busily preparing for my wedding in less than two months.

On that day, I will share my first kiss with the first man I fell in love with, when he is my husband.

I know there’s absolutely nothing wrong with kissing while dating. For us, early on in our relationship, we decided that if we were called to be together, we would like our first kiss to be something special between the two of us. We’d hoped that this would also help us focus on getting to know each other first.

It sounded a bit strange when my fiancé first suggested it, but I consider it a gift that my husband-to-be was willing to wait and discern where God was calling us in our relationship. For me, waiting for the kiss has parallels with trying to live out the virtues of faith and patience during the ups and downs of my vocation journey over the past few years.

I had discerned a possible call to religious life in my early 20s and, after some soul-searching, realized that my choice was between single or married life.

Long before I met my fiancé, I had dated a few guys but had never been in a relationship. It always seemed like I was finding “Not This One” instead of “The One.” I was starting to lose hope. But gradually I learned to be at peace with not fully knowing God’s plan while trusting and praying that God would help me find my vocation.

So I devoted my efforts to doing what I’d also wanted to do: to travel and pursue my career goals, wherever that would lead me.

Since university, I’ve travelled to 58 cities in 13 countries and lived my dream of working as a journalist in the Middle East.

When I returned to Canada, where I met my fiancé, I wasn’t even looking for anyone. But when a window of opportunity opened, courtesy of a very prayerful mutual friend, I prayed for God’s guidance and decided to take some steps toward an eventual leap of faith.

I’m beginning to discover that it’s this same faith and trust cultivated so many years ago that will help build a solid marriage: having trust in God and in each other.

When I’ve told this story to some of my friends who are at the “waiting stage” that I’d been in, I always say that I don’t claim to impart any “expert advice.” What I can say is that during my own period of waiting, I learned to challenge myself to be open to the possibilities that God was calling me to at that point in life. I’ve also worked on cultivating my own sense of confidence and happiness instead of relying upon others or the “perfect situation” to provide that for me.

Fr. Henri Nouwen once wrote that “Waiting is essential to the spiritual life. But waiting as a disciple of Jesus is not an empty waiting. It is a waiting with a promise in our hearts that makes already present what we are waiting for.”

As I wait for my wedding day, I am thankful that despite the years of uncertainty during my vocation journey, God helped me to become persistent in prayer, not in demanding God to give me what I wanted but to accept that whatever it was, single or married life, I would not be alone because He would always be there for me and I would find happiness in my vocation.

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