I would like to suggest a different approach from the normal spend and wrap routine. I encourage husbands and fathers to consider investing in the type of gift that will infuse your marital relationship with untold graces. Instead of heading to the mall to be confronted by an array of options that would frustrate any man's good intentions, consider getting down on your knees and having a conversation with God.

In prayer, profess that God is first in your life.  Simple words like, "Father, you are the alpha and the omega, and my creator. You come first in my life."  Many people put their spouses or children, or even work first, but in fact God is first, and the wise believer will recognize this truth sooner than later. 

Then as you continue to pray, ask for God's help. "Father, help me to love you with all my mind, heart, soul and strength and to love others, for the love of you."  To these words add, "Help me to grow in faith, hope, love, wisdom and courage."

Then turn your thoughts and prayers to your role as husband and father. Pray, "Help me to be the husband and father you intended me to be. Help me to be more patient, more attentive to my wife and children, and help me to have a forgiving heart."

As you say these prayers you will recognize why God must be number one in your life. It is only through a deepening relationship with God that you grow in grace and become the man that God wants you to be.

Some might wonder why I would suggest that men celebrate Mother's Day by praying for themselves. I am not implying men should seek to be their best for their own sake, but instead to more fully do the will of God, which certainly includes being a loving husband and father.

While you are still on your knees, or maybe eating breakfast, or driving to work, turn your prayers to your wife. "Father, help my wife be the woman, wife and mother you intended her to be. Help her to know how much I love her. Give me the words to express my love and her heart the ability to hear my true intentions.  Father, help my wife to feel loved today."

Add to this prayer any special intentions your wife might have. For example, "Please God, help my wife to be fulfilled in her role as wife and mother, or to be successful in her important meeting at work today, or comfort her when she meets with her doctor this afternoon."

Finally, ask God to help you to choose every day to recognize your wife as His gift to you. Don't ever forget, long before you existed God conceived of the coming together of man and woman, and He declared that it was good. As you pray to recognize your wife as gift, also pray to recognize God intended you as His gift to your wife. 

As you conclude your prayers, which probably have taken no more than a few minutes, begin to act on the intentions you have just professed. Try some of these simple gifts. Tell your wife, "I love you" at least three times each day. When she speaks stop what you are doing and listen. Send her an e-mail and let her know you are thinking about her. Do something because she wants to do it. Go on a date at least twice per month. Protect your "us" time, especially if you have children. Every few years participate in a Marriage Encounter weekend. You can find out about this wonderful program through your parish.

If you still feel like you want to buy some chocolates, roses or perfume, do it. However, do it with the recognition that your everyday words and deeds are God's gift to your wife, and resolve that with God's help you will do your best to love your wife the way He intended you to.

(McAvoy writes on family matters from the Toronto area.)