For as long as I have lived, I have been a natural spiritual seeker and a lover of learning. I have found God everywhere, and maybe especially in places that were not governed by rules or authority: in the night sky, in patterns and associations, in poetry and emotion. And simultaneously, I have loved the structure of religious practice, math lessons, and learning music through the Royal Conservatory. I have been thinking lately about how spirituality and structures are connected more than they compete, and I am wandering into thinking about the exponentiality of spiritual practice and power.

Years before I had math classes, I remember lining up sticks in sand from smallest to biggest. I remember watching the old school digital clock in a vehicle, waiting for 11:11 and 4:56 and 3:33 to flip over. My mom used to create cut out worksheets with a marker and give me a glue stick so I could cut and match written numbers to the corresponding shapes she drew by hand. I am still so drawn to solving logic and math puzzles. There is a deep satisfaction for me in the predictability and reassurance of the order of things.

And, at the same time, there are so many experiences in living that have no predictable outcomes, no deeply satisfying answers. Hormones might explain post partum depression, but no diagnosis or treatment plan can explain how to make sense of it. A low progesterone count contributed to my miscarriage, but there is no effective prevention medicine. The grief must be lived, even if it can be mapped. There is a biochemical recipe for feelings of longing, rage, and hope, but I still have to ride their waves and decide how to speak the truth with love. There is this deep and mysterious interconnection between the physical world and immaterial reality.

Advertisement

Stepping back into explicitly spiritual work in the last year, I am staring this interconnected mystery right in the face. I do administrative leadership work (paying bills, supporting staff, planning calendars…) and speaking and preaching work (writing content, delivering presentations and programs, sitting with people to listen and reflect). There are very clear approaches and tasks, as well as powerful intangibles in doing spiritual work.

And all of this got me thinking about the math of spiritual work.

Advertisement

First, my personal spiritual experience. For years, I have worked with definitions of spirituality as concrete practices. My spiritual life is a set of dynamic practices that make it possible for me to live more peacefully in reality and connected to a divine mission of Love that is well beyond me. I make imperfect efforts and then entrust them to the Creator of everything. And like loaves and fishes, my offerings are multiplied. One plus one does not equal two in God’s hands: one plus one plus one equals miracles.

I might be tempted to write this off as anecdotal nonsense except that God keeps bringing people to me whose stories consistently support the hypothesis: Spirituality has exponential power.

When I learned about exponents and square roots in middle school math, it was mind-expanding. The mysteries of space and time only make sense when we can fathom the concepts of infinity and quantum mechanics. Existence is so much more intricate and expansive than my mind and systems can fully comprehend.

Advertisement

So, secondly, supporting the spirituality of others. As I listen to people talk about how they experience their own spirituality and encounter the Divine, I am in awe of how many different ways people make connections between this Mysterious Other and their own worlds. Over and over again, I see that the smallest shifts, the most minute offerings, the tiniest steps lead to miracles. Falling apart becomes a breakthrough. Asking for help leads to a new door being opened. Death makes a way toward a new life.

It is easy to be momentarily pacified by the transactional, instant gratification economy of survival that is so readily available. Spiritual practice offers us the exponential power of being satiated, even when the way is not fully clear. As for me, give me the narrow and exponential way. I want to offer my pebbles and find myself lost in the mountains of the Creator’s making.