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Another day, another celebrity mystic
By Michael Coren
January 29, 2010
Michael Coren
I suppose it had to happen. That well known moral theologian Jennifer Aniston, star of Friends and He’s Just Not That Into You, is tipped to be the next Hollywood convert to the Jewish mystical code known as Kabbalah. She had previously become a Buddhist when fellow moral theologian Brad Pitt left her for Angelina Jolie but apparently the ancient sage’s beliefs didn’t quite make the grade for Jen. Rumour is that Demi Moore, who was married to Bruce Willis but now walks out with Ashton Kutcher, also thinks Kabbalah is really cool and that she led Aniston to the path of true enlightenment.
Aniston originally met Moore through a Hollywood lifestyle guru but when they chatted again recently at a fashionable New York party Aniston finally saw the light. She also sought advice at the same party from Gwyneth Paltrow, another Kabbalah follower and moral theologian, who also used to date Brad Pitt before he dated Jennifer whom he then left for Angelina. Confusing but oh so important.
Aniston originally met Moore through a Hollywood lifestyle guru but when they chatted again recently at a fashionable New York party Aniston finally saw the light. She also sought advice at the same party from Gwyneth Paltrow, another Kabbalah follower and moral theologian, who also used to date Brad Pitt before he dated Jennifer whom he then left for Angelina. Confusing but oh so important.
Other moral theologians who have embraced the creed include Madonna, Roseanne Barr, David and Victoria Beckham, Jeff Goldblum, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Guy Ritchie and Elizabeth Taylor. Madonna used to be married to Ritchie but he left her because he claimed she slept at night in a plastic suit and was impossible to live with. As is so often the case with those cranky old moral theologians.
It is, of course, all invincibly silly and deliciously lovely to laugh at. Thing is, it’s more tragic than funny. Kabbalah is a fascinating if flawed philosophy but this is no more about genuine Kabbalah than Calvin and Hobbes are like a French reformer and a British philosopher. Like all religions adapted by rich, foolish celebrities and for rich, foolish celebrities it’s a diluted, perverted version wrapped in pop culture and dipped in self indulgence. “You can be absurdly wealthy, fail in your various marriages and reject the difference between right and wrong but it’s all okay because you are you and you are great.”
Yet before we poke fingers and smugly congratulate ourselves on how different we are from these pampered flappers, it’s worth looking at what the mainstream world has done to Christianity. To quote G.K. Chesterton “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.” Quite so. Christianity is tough and Catholic Christianity particularly so. Largely because it contains a duality of belief that requires far more than feeling good about ourselves by smiling, doing the odd charitable act or thinking nice thoughts about other people. It also involves a strict, disciplined approach towards morality and ethics.
While Paris Hilton may be risible and Jennifer Aniston irrelevant, they are merely sparkled versions of every cafeteria Catholic and modernist Protestant who is far more happy editing rather than following Jesus Christ. In fact the Hollywood types are in some ways preferable because they don’t even pretend to be Christian and merely grasp at the fashionable religion of the moment.
This Christmas Eve as you sat in a church packed to standing with good people, did you wonder how many of these men and women were receiving the body of Christ in good standing and how many had missed days of obligation, not gone to confession or committed mortal sins? Not for me to judge but not for them to make up a religion as they go along. Just as real faith is not about celebrities religion-hopping, Catholicism has rules that are for us to observe and not ignore because it is the church founded by God to show us the way to Him and not to Hollywood.
It’s not and has never been about self-enlightenment and, truth be told, self-enlightenment is not and has never really been about self-enlightenment. The self is enlightened when we admit to fear and love of God and obey Him and His commandments and the church He gave us to make sure we didn’t put ourselves and our so-called feelings before His sacrifice and our salvation.
The difference between Hollywood moral theologians and lukewarm Catholics who play at the faith? Now there’s a conundrum that would confuse even Kabbalah.
It is, of course, all invincibly silly and deliciously lovely to laugh at. Thing is, it’s more tragic than funny. Kabbalah is a fascinating if flawed philosophy but this is no more about genuine Kabbalah than Calvin and Hobbes are like a French reformer and a British philosopher. Like all religions adapted by rich, foolish celebrities and for rich, foolish celebrities it’s a diluted, perverted version wrapped in pop culture and dipped in self indulgence. “You can be absurdly wealthy, fail in your various marriages and reject the difference between right and wrong but it’s all okay because you are you and you are great.”
Yet before we poke fingers and smugly congratulate ourselves on how different we are from these pampered flappers, it’s worth looking at what the mainstream world has done to Christianity. To quote G.K. Chesterton “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.” Quite so. Christianity is tough and Catholic Christianity particularly so. Largely because it contains a duality of belief that requires far more than feeling good about ourselves by smiling, doing the odd charitable act or thinking nice thoughts about other people. It also involves a strict, disciplined approach towards morality and ethics.
While Paris Hilton may be risible and Jennifer Aniston irrelevant, they are merely sparkled versions of every cafeteria Catholic and modernist Protestant who is far more happy editing rather than following Jesus Christ. In fact the Hollywood types are in some ways preferable because they don’t even pretend to be Christian and merely grasp at the fashionable religion of the moment.
This Christmas Eve as you sat in a church packed to standing with good people, did you wonder how many of these men and women were receiving the body of Christ in good standing and how many had missed days of obligation, not gone to confession or committed mortal sins? Not for me to judge but not for them to make up a religion as they go along. Just as real faith is not about celebrities religion-hopping, Catholicism has rules that are for us to observe and not ignore because it is the church founded by God to show us the way to Him and not to Hollywood.
It’s not and has never been about self-enlightenment and, truth be told, self-enlightenment is not and has never really been about self-enlightenment. The self is enlightened when we admit to fear and love of God and obey Him and His commandments and the church He gave us to make sure we didn’t put ourselves and our so-called feelings before His sacrifice and our salvation.
The difference between Hollywood moral theologians and lukewarm Catholics who play at the faith? Now there’s a conundrum that would confuse even Kabbalah.
Michael Coren