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A scandal worthy of Stalinist Russia
By Dorothy Cummings McLean
August 25, 2009
Dorothy Cummings McLean
Discovering that phone calls to Canada are only five pence a minute, I finally called a dear friend back in Toronto.
“How are you?” she demanded. “What have you been doing?”
“Great,” I said. “I’ve been doing married lady stuff. Shopping for food and cooking and washing the dishes and doing the laundry. I write a lot. And, of course, I am totally obsessed with the Corcoran scandal.”
“How are you?” she demanded. “What have you been doing?”
“Great,” I said. “I’ve been doing married lady stuff. Shopping for food and cooking and washing the dishes and doing the laundry. I write a lot. And, of course, I am totally obsessed with the Corcoran scandal.”
“What’s that?” she said, and I felt annoyed that my friends don’t all read The Catholic Register, eager for the latest column by their absent pal.
“The Corcoran scandal,” I began. “Oh dear. Mark has stuck his fingers in his ears. I’ve talked too much about it. Night and day, Corcoran, Corcoran!”
“What happened?” asked my uninformed friend.
“It’s all very sad,” I said. “I’m not sure which is sadder: that you can be sued for writing to your bishop or that some unelected government official might force that bishop to give a homily.”
“What?” asked my friend. “How can you force a bishop to give a homily? Hello! Freedom of religion?”
“Where to begin?” I groaned. “Well, there once was a priest named Ed Cachia. He was the pastor of a parish in Cobourg. His parish loved him. But he had such a bee in his bonnet about women’s ordination that he praised it in print and then concelebrated Mass with some riverboat ordination ‘womenpriests’ in 2005. Being suspended for this, Fr. Ed started his own breakaway church called Christ the Servant. So Fr. Ed got excommunicated. In 2007 he quit his new church and went to work for a Grafton spa owner named Jim Corcoran.
“In 2008 the Catholic parish got a pastor called Allan Hood. He is a Knight of the Holy Sepulchre. Sounds posh, eh? Anyway, he applied his more traditional style to his new parish, and not all of the parishioners like it. Apparently some complained about the money Fr. Hood pays to a children’s choir, and about his vestments, and about his organist, and about his liturgical style in general.”
I broke off to ponder liturgical styles.
“Actually, I would probably like Fr. Hood’s liturgical style. But some parishioners didn’t like how Fr. Hood implemented his changes. They said he threw his weight around. And when they wrote a letter to their bishop to complain, they cited two new parishioners in this all-male adult altar guild Fr. Hood had started.”
“What do you mean all-male?” demanded my feminist friend.
“I mean, having no women in it,” I said. “Its MC. Did you know altar servers had MCs? I didn’t. Its MC was Ed Cachia’s new boss, the spa owner Jim Corcoran. Corcoran says Fr. Hood asked him and his same-sex partner to be in this new...”
“His what?”
“His same-sex partner. That’s what Corcoran calls his housemate. He says he lives a chaste and devoutly Catholic life, but there it is all over his human rights complaint: same-sex partner. To me ‘partner’ implies a sexual relationship, but let that go. I am not interested in other people’s sex lives. What bothers me is that Corcoran claims to be a devout Catholic while suing 12 parishioners and his bishop over a privilege usually given to children.
“The parishioners are being sued because they alluded to Corcoran in a letter complaining about their pastor. The bishop is being sued because Corcoran holds him responsible for his subsequent dismissal from altar service by Fr. Hood. The ex-altar server visited the bishop, who asked him to consider 1 Corinthians 8, which is to say, the weak consciences of Corcoran’s fellow parishioners. Ignoring the Epistles on this and other matters, Corcoran made his human rights complaint, claiming discrimination in employment due to sexual orientation.”
“Unreal,” said my friend.
“I wonder if Corcoran reads The Catholic Register,” I mused. “It bangs on about how lousy the human rights tribunals are for freedom of speech and religion. Someone dragged up Catholic Insight magazine before one because it kept writing against homosexual practices. Someone dragged up some Knights of Columbus because they wouldn’t rent out their hall for a lesbian wedding. Someone dragged up the Anglican Church, claiming it wouldn’t ordain him because he was Sri Lankan. How do you prove that, I’d like to know. Meanwhile, the process is a punishment because, no matter what, there are lawyers to pay.”
“It’s scary,” said my friend.
“You bet,” I said. “And what I find scariest in Corcoran’s demands, apart from the prospect of ordinary Catholics losing thousands of dollars, is that he wants the state to force the bishop to reinstall him as an altar server, publish an apology and give a homily against gossip. Can you imagine? The state forcing a bishop to give a homily of its choosing?”
“Sadly,” said my friend, “I can.”
“So can I,” I said, “but this isn’t Stalinist Russia.”
“The Corcoran scandal,” I began. “Oh dear. Mark has stuck his fingers in his ears. I’ve talked too much about it. Night and day, Corcoran, Corcoran!”
“What happened?” asked my uninformed friend.
“It’s all very sad,” I said. “I’m not sure which is sadder: that you can be sued for writing to your bishop or that some unelected government official might force that bishop to give a homily.”
“What?” asked my friend. “How can you force a bishop to give a homily? Hello! Freedom of religion?”
“Where to begin?” I groaned. “Well, there once was a priest named Ed Cachia. He was the pastor of a parish in Cobourg. His parish loved him. But he had such a bee in his bonnet about women’s ordination that he praised it in print and then concelebrated Mass with some riverboat ordination ‘womenpriests’ in 2005. Being suspended for this, Fr. Ed started his own breakaway church called Christ the Servant. So Fr. Ed got excommunicated. In 2007 he quit his new church and went to work for a Grafton spa owner named Jim Corcoran.
“In 2008 the Catholic parish got a pastor called Allan Hood. He is a Knight of the Holy Sepulchre. Sounds posh, eh? Anyway, he applied his more traditional style to his new parish, and not all of the parishioners like it. Apparently some complained about the money Fr. Hood pays to a children’s choir, and about his vestments, and about his organist, and about his liturgical style in general.”
I broke off to ponder liturgical styles.
“Actually, I would probably like Fr. Hood’s liturgical style. But some parishioners didn’t like how Fr. Hood implemented his changes. They said he threw his weight around. And when they wrote a letter to their bishop to complain, they cited two new parishioners in this all-male adult altar guild Fr. Hood had started.”
“What do you mean all-male?” demanded my feminist friend.
“I mean, having no women in it,” I said. “Its MC. Did you know altar servers had MCs? I didn’t. Its MC was Ed Cachia’s new boss, the spa owner Jim Corcoran. Corcoran says Fr. Hood asked him and his same-sex partner to be in this new...”
“His what?”
“His same-sex partner. That’s what Corcoran calls his housemate. He says he lives a chaste and devoutly Catholic life, but there it is all over his human rights complaint: same-sex partner. To me ‘partner’ implies a sexual relationship, but let that go. I am not interested in other people’s sex lives. What bothers me is that Corcoran claims to be a devout Catholic while suing 12 parishioners and his bishop over a privilege usually given to children.
“The parishioners are being sued because they alluded to Corcoran in a letter complaining about their pastor. The bishop is being sued because Corcoran holds him responsible for his subsequent dismissal from altar service by Fr. Hood. The ex-altar server visited the bishop, who asked him to consider 1 Corinthians 8, which is to say, the weak consciences of Corcoran’s fellow parishioners. Ignoring the Epistles on this and other matters, Corcoran made his human rights complaint, claiming discrimination in employment due to sexual orientation.”
“Unreal,” said my friend.
“I wonder if Corcoran reads The Catholic Register,” I mused. “It bangs on about how lousy the human rights tribunals are for freedom of speech and religion. Someone dragged up Catholic Insight magazine before one because it kept writing against homosexual practices. Someone dragged up some Knights of Columbus because they wouldn’t rent out their hall for a lesbian wedding. Someone dragged up the Anglican Church, claiming it wouldn’t ordain him because he was Sri Lankan. How do you prove that, I’d like to know. Meanwhile, the process is a punishment because, no matter what, there are lawyers to pay.”
“It’s scary,” said my friend.
“You bet,” I said. “And what I find scariest in Corcoran’s demands, apart from the prospect of ordinary Catholics losing thousands of dollars, is that he wants the state to force the bishop to reinstall him as an altar server, publish an apology and give a homily against gossip. Can you imagine? The state forcing a bishop to give a homily of its choosing?”
“Sadly,” said my friend, “I can.”
“So can I,” I said, “but this isn’t Stalinist Russia.”
Dorothy Cummings McLean