Reconciliation, the most human of the sacraments

A fine, good priest told me recently that unless he begins the morning with 15 minutes in prayer, thanking God for all that he has been given, he simply cannot find the time in the rest of the day to do all the things he has to do.

Now this is important. Not, “unless I pray first thing, I can’t find time to pray later,” but “unless I pray first thing, I can’t find time to do anything later.” It’s a vital distinction, and underlines the essence and essential importance of humility and of speaking and listening to God. We are nothing without Him, we need to thank Him and not take all that we have for granted, and without this divine communication we are dry and unproductive.

Okay, okay, I need to come clean. This was said to me in confession. Where I was, of course, telling God of the usual banalities of a sinner’s existence. By the way, I don’t mean a face-to-face chat, or something equally repulsive; I mean confession. The priest is the mere conduit, and this is about something far more important than counselling. For some modernist fellow in sensible shoes, full of lukewarm understanding and ersatz empathy, to sit in front of me with nods and smiles is a horrible promotion of the self. I want to speak to God, not you Father!

Thank God the church where I confess my sins is a bit more grown-up than that, and I kneel as I speak through the grill, am washed clean and advised how to try to get it right in future. The chances are that most of us will repeat that sin time and time again, and a good priest knows this as well as does our Father in Heaven. We’re broken people, but that doesn’t mean we don’t try to mend the break. The sign of a good church? Lots of people lining up to enter the confessional; lots of opportunities to go to confession; lots of priests to hear confession.

Think about this for a moment. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is vital. Good Lord, it’s a sacrament! Yet how many churches do you know where there is painfully little time to confess, thus downplaying its importance, thus encouraging people to disregard it, thus making it more difficult for Catholics to obey the teachings of the Church, thus giving Satan lots more chances to splash around with mortal sin and soul decay?

My golly, he mentioned Satan. Of course. What do you think this is all about? Issues like welfare, minimum wage and social justice are easy, and for amateurs. This is the real thing. Humility, contrition, acknowledging God, thanking Him and asking Him to forgive you, knowing that there is a spiritual war going on out there, taking sides in it. Confession is not about humiliating or belittling, but giving another chance. As such it is an extraordinarily human sacrament, in that the Church — as it was founded by God, who made all of us — understands that we are not perfect, that we will fail, that we are not all eternally shining and impeccable once we accept God; what a ridiculous and inhuman notion that is.

It’s a lifeline, thrown to all of us, and there is nothing cowardly about holding on to a rope thrown from the shore when you are drowning. Indeed it would be stupid, proud and ultimately fatal to ignore the rope because, in our self-love, we assume we can save ourselves. Which makes the little trip into that little place all the more important, and means that if a church neglects to make it available, or if a priest assumes that he, rather than God, is at the centre of it, something extremely dangerous is going on.

“If I don’t pray for 15 minutes in the morning thanking God for all that He has given me, I can’t find the time in the rest of the day to do all the things I have to do,” said the good priest. Oh yes. And if we cannot find another 15 minutes or less to kneel down in confession, we won’t find the time in the rest of the day to find God.