Pro-marriage doesn’t make you anti-gay

Oh please Senator Rob Portman, please! This career politician, once considered a Republican vice-presidential candidate, resurrected his failing career at the end of March by announcing that he had changed his mind on the issue of gay marriage because his son is homosexual. Actually, his son came out two years ago, but it’s apparently taken the senator this long to “feel comfortable” with speaking about the issue.

Or, to translate, he had kept all this private for two years but some major players at the recent conservative action conference argued that the Republican Party had to re-think the gay marriage issue, and Portman realized this is a very opportune time to play the role of caring dad and progressive politician.

He also claims he didn’t know his son was gay, which says quite a lot about their relationship. How much time did you spend with the boy, how well did you know him, when did you speak to him, did you not notice the lack of girlfriends?

But more to the point, one has to ask what would you have done if your son had announced that he was a Democrat or a Muslim. Would you then have changed your party affiliation or your religious faith?

Speaking of religious faith, this is where Roman Catholics have to know why and how we hold to our teaching about marriage and sexuality. Opposition to same-sex marriage is not about being anti-gay but being pro-marriage. If any Catholic out there opposes gay marriage because of some animus towards individual homosexuals they should be ashamed. They do not fully appreciate their Church and its theology.

Marriage is, however, a child-centred institution, and while gay people can live together as much as they want — it’s their business, not mine — marriage is not a human right but a social value, and we should care more about social stability and the future of children than about a fashionable cause. Equality has nothing to do with this. The supreme misnomer “marriage equality” is a contrived term invented to paint people as bigots and extremists.

I realize it must be very difficult for the senator to deal with all of this, but can you not still love your son — and you must and should — and continue to hold an orthodox, intelligent, compassionate defence of marriage. There are many gay people who do not believe in gay marriage, many parents of gay people who do not believe in gay marriage. Support for real marriage and love for gay people are not mutually exclusive.

There are, for example, more than a few Catholic moms and dads whose children become atheists, invariably because it’s trendy and because they know it will annoy their parents and feels like rebellion. Those parents obviously continue to love their children, but don’t automatically and suddenly abandon God and the Roman Catholic Church. It’s all so facile, so simplistic, so childish. We must love our kids unconditionally, but love does not mean affirmation of all they are, or all they desire. Any parent who agrees to every child’s demand has no idea how to raise a young person.

This is yet another example of bending the knee to a modernist and intolerant consensus and then trying to disguise it as a new enlightenment. The senator, we are told, has evolved. Really? Not sure what Darwin would have to say about it all. It’s distasteful but not at all surprising, and the senator and his son are already being revered as symbols of hope. At the same time, of course, Western society continues to decay, and we’re all told that a combination of low taxes and low morals will win elections for parties across North America.

Personally, I’d rather hold on to truth than fight for power. I love my children with all my heart, even when they drive me crazy and think I’m totally wrong. It’s what real family is all about. It’s what the Church is all about. It’s what grace, forgiveness and faith in Jesus Christ is all about. Think again senator — for God’s sake, think again.

(Coren’s latest book is Heresy: Ten Lies They Spread About Christianity. His web site is www. michaelcoren.com.)