Heath White’s struggle with perfection

Heath White is a marathon runner who has also been a top student, air force pilot and FBI agent. Excelling in just about everything he has attempted, he considered his life to be perfect — until he and his wife found out they were pregnant with a Down Syndrome baby.

Their story is told in a compelling episode called "Perfect" on ESPN's newsmagazine show E:60. Upon hearing he had fathered a disabled child, White became emotionally distant from his wife and tried to convince her to have an abortion. But Jennifer chose to give life to the baby. It was only when White heard his daughter giggle and saw her smile like any other infant, that he began to see Paisley and her disorder in a different light.

White is extremely open about his feelings. When the doctor first  diagnosed Down Syndrome, White said he felt as if there were a death in the family instead of a life. His situation is not uncommon and it has underlined a situation that many think but few voice: unless a child is “normal,” it is not worth brining into this world.

That sentiment is at least partly due to parental fear about their ability to raise a disabled child. Pope Francis has recognized this fear, but warns against the “throw-away culture” that is prevalent in society, even in regard to life in the womb.

I can see how difficult it must have been for White to share his story.  He goes from a man in mourning to a father filled with pride as he pushes Paisley in her stroller for 321 miles in races. Have some tissues ready.

One of my former university professors often reminded his class that we all have unique abilities and special inabilities. Our abilities should be celebrated and utilized. Our inabilities do not define us, they are merely a part of us and should be embraced as part of the whole person.

My sister Kara is excellent at working with her hands to create things. I might never craft a jewelry box, make pizza dough from scratch or keep a plant alive for as long as she can, and I thank God for our differences. Kara also has Autism.

We as a family value her skills but, more importantly, have learned to embrace all of her for the person she is. Communities like L’Arche (a place for those living with disabilities to learn and thrive) and ShareLife (an organization that assists people in all stages of life) work hard to promote the dignity and stewardship for the most vulnerable.

What I love about White's story, in addition to its honesty, is how it combines his dedication to the sport of running with a father’s love for his daughter. He not only embraced Paisley, he involved her in his athleticism. This is a whole new level of intimacy. He did not compartmentalize her, but invited her into the very part of him he originally wanted to protect from “imperfection.”

White is human, and Paisley reminds him of that daily. That makes  him a better runner — and a better father.