Growing pains: finding the joy in suffering

Why must we suffer? Why do things have to be so difficult? Why can’t things just be easy?

To pose these questions, we must first explore the questions that Fr. Chris Valka, C.S.B., prompts us to ask in his homily for the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time, inspired by the Gospel according to Luke.

In reflection of chapter 17 verse 5 when the apostles begged Jesus, “Increase our faith,” Valka asks the congregation, “So how do we increase our faith?” The parishioners seemed to think that was a rhetorical question. Does that really have an answer?

Valka continues, “How did the apostles do it?” He answers his own question. “They saw the cross.” In other words, their suffering, through Christ’s suffering, brought them to their knees. But that was not the end. They were not left in suffering. Valka points out that they also “participated in a resurrection.” There was a cause for hope, a witness to a miracle. The rays of sun after a storm.

It seems that in order for us to experience something great, we need to experience some trials first.

“How do we get smarter?” Valka muses. “We work hard. We sweat. We tear muscles.” We sort of “put ourselves through trials” to get better. In yoga class this morning, the instructor reminds us to breathe through the discomfort. At first this was a foreign concept to me. Why do I have to suffer at all? Isn’t yoga relaxing? But she pointed out that in order to increase our strength, agility and lung capacity, we’d have to push our bodies just past the point where we were comfortable, and stay there a while. Next time we stretched, she promised, we’d notice a difference in how far we could go. She was right.

Valka poses another question: “How do we get smarter? We think harder about more complicated things.” Thinking back to my fourth year undergrad Directed Studies project, I had more trouble putting together my literature review than I’d like to admit. It wasn’t something I was good at or experienced in. But the more problems I ran into, the more equipped I felt by end of the project.

Finally, Valka asks, “How do we love more deeply?” This could be the toughest one to grasp, because it doesn’t just involve our muscles or minds, but our hearts. To love more deeply, we tend to experience “heartache and loss” to understand what choosing love means. If it was an easy feat, it wouldn’t mean as much. If there are trials involved, it is more about a choice to love rather than an easy default.

Too many times I have heard that prayer in times of turmoil is the toughest to endure. It seems pointless at times, as we may feel numb to any outside influence. But this is the time that we are the most sensitive to God’s touch. Not only is He carrying us, but our suffering is aligned with His. St. Therese of Lisieux knew physical and emotional suffering all too well. She shows us how to not only accept suffering, but embrace it as a labour of love. By allowing Him into our sufferings, even wordlessly, it may not diminish the pain, but leaning into it will make us stronger, and yes, increase our faith.

So why must we suffer? Why do things have to be so difficult? Why can’t things just be easy? Because if it weren’t for our suffering we would not be able to have the freedom to expand beyond our own limitations or grow into more faithful people.