Finding God in the day: Examen for children

There are nights in our house when bedtime prayers look less like a scene from a Catholic parenting book and more like anarchy and chaos combined. 

Someone needs water. Someone else has suddenly remembered something critically important that happened at school. A stuffed animal has gone missing and everyone is tired, especially us, the parents. 

It can be tempting, on nights like these, to rush through prayer simply because we have reached the end of ourselves.

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But lately, I have been thinking about how these ordinary moments can become opportunities for something deeper: teaching our children not simply to say their prayers, but to recognize God in their daily lives.

One way we can do this is through the daily Examen.

I had known about the Examen for years, but it was only recently, after beginning a pastoral formation course that invited me to learn more about it and put it into regular practice, that I began to understand just how valuable it can be. What had previously been a spiritual practice I knew about in theory has quickly become something much more practical: a simple but meaningful way of noticing God’s presence throughout the ordinary moments of my day.

Traditionally associated with St. Ignatius of Loyola, the Examen invites us to prayerfully look back over our day with God and to become aware of His presence, give thanks, notice our emotions and experiences (beyond the superficial and fleeting moments), recognize where we fell short and look toward tomorrow with hope.

What has surprised me most is how much the practice changes the way we look at an ordinary day. Instead of remembering only what went wrong, such as the stressful morning, the argument or the disappointing news, we begin, as Jesuit priest Dennis Hamm so eloquently puts it, “rummaging for God” — prayerfully sifting through the experiences of our day and looking for where He was present all along. And that is something even a young child can learn to do.

The language, of course, needs to be simpler. In our homes, the Examen does not need to become another formal lesson or another item on an already overcrowded family checklist. It can begin with a few questions at bedtime.

What was something good about today?

This is gratitude. Maybe it was playing with a friend, eating a favourite dinner or getting a hug from Mom. What seems insignificant to an adult can teach a child that goodness itself is worth noticing and thanking God for.

What was something hard about today?

Children need to know that prayer has room for this, too. Perhaps, someone hurt their feelings or maybe they were scared, angry or lonely. We can help them bring those experiences to God rather than teaching them, unintentionally, that prayer is reserved only for pleasant things.

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Was there something you wish you had done differently?

Here we begin forming the conscience without turning the Examen into an interrogation. Did I hurt someone? Was I unkind? Did I refuse to share? We can help children recognize wrongdoing while also teaching them about mercy: when we fail, we ask forgiveness, make things right when we can and begin again.

Then comes perhaps my favourite question:

Where do you think God was today?

At first, children may not know how to answer and that’s alright. As an adult, this question is often hard to answer too and takes some deep reflection and practice. 

However, part of our role in the domestic Church is teaching them how to look.

Maybe God was present in the friend who sat beside them when they were sad or in the beauty of the leaves they collected on the walk home. Or in Dad making them laugh at dinner. Or, especially, in the courage they found to do something difficult.

Over time, we are teaching them something much larger than a bedtime prayer routine; we are teaching them a way of seeing God in the ordinary and admiring that beauty with hope and faith. 

Children will eventually grow beyond the faith practices we organize for them, and we won’t always be there to remind them to pray before bed, shepherd them into the pew on Sunday or answer every question they have about God.

What we can give them, however, are spiritual habits that help them recognize Him for themselves.

And, perhaps, that is one of the quiet purposes of formation within the home. Perhaps it’s not merely about teaching our children what to believe but helping them develop eyes capable of noticing grace. Because God is already present in their ordinary days.

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Sometimes they simply need someone to teach them how to look.

(Vazquez Santos is a Toronto writer.)

A version of this article appeared in the November 08, 2026 issue of The Catholic Register with the headline "Finding God in the day: Examen for children".