August will mark 69 years since Elmar and Martha Kremer said “I do” in the company of family and friends.

Among all the couples set to be feted during the Archdiocese of Toronto’s annual Marriage Sunday Mass Feb. 9 at St. Michael’s Cathedral Basilica, the Kremers have been blessed with the longest-lasting marital bond.

This special liturgical service, featuring Auxiliary Bishop Ivan Camilleri as presider, salutes marriages celebrating 25th, 40th, 50th, 60th or 61+ anniversaries.

In an interview with The Catholic Register, Elmar and Martha, both 90 years old, conveyed how their love story began at Saint Louis University in Missouri. Martha sat down next to Elmar before their very first postsecondary class and introduced themselves to each other.

After initial bonding in class, they began collaborating on homework assignments together. Martha would get on her bike and ride to Elmar’s family home. Before long they would start slipping away to an empty classroom to eat their homemade lunches and even “sneak a kiss.”

Both members of an honours students' program at this Jesuit-run university, the couple’s intellectual compatibility was immediately apparent.

“We talked quite a bit about philosophy,” said Elmar. “We (also) talked about God, the existence of God, about faith. We talked about basic religious questions, and we communicated relatively easily about those things. We never ended up quarrelling or anything like that or having fixed positions that were opposed. We just enjoyed conversation.”

Their emotional connection was also strong. Martha said what first attracted her to Elmar was that “he is a very loving person,” and she appreciated getting to know “his wonderful family.”

Martha, who grew up in a Mainline Protestant household, credits the influence of the Jesuits and the support of Elmar for helping inspire her conversion to Catholicism.

They endeavoured to put the Lord at the centre of their marriage as they raised five sons predominantly in the Don Mills neighbourhood of Toronto after emigrating to Canada in 1961. Michael, John, Philip and Thomas are still among us, but Karl sadly passed away due to cancer in June 2022. They are blessed with 15 grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren.

Elmar, Martha and their boys attended St. Bonaventure’s Church on Leslie Street, and they would become involved in championing causes aligned with Catholic values.

Elmar joined Opus Dei, a lay and clerical prelature of the Catholic Church that encourages members to find God in daily life and perform their work as an offering to God in addition to serving society. For many years, he taught philosophy at the University of St. Michael’s College and the University of Toronto.

Both, but Martha especially, engaged in the Right to Life Association of Toronto for many years. In 1971, the very first association meeting was hosted in the Kremer household.

Like her spouse, Martha also discovered a vocation for teaching. She taught middle and high school English at several schools for over 15 years.

They stoked their intellectual passion through the careers they chose, the organizations they supported and with the hobbies they engage in together. They’ve added a new activity to their repertoire in recent months.

“We have taken a practice from one of my married sisters where we’ve begun to read books to each other out loud,” said Elmar. “We pick books that are entertaining to read and with a story to tell — (nothing) abstract. The first one we read was a book called The Dog Who Wouldn't Be by Farley Mowat, and we just laughed so much while we read that book to each other. We've enjoyed the process, and we've since then continued to read other books of a fairly light nature to each other.”

This year marks the second time the Kremers have participated in Marriage Sunday. They recognize and appreciate the inspirational value of this service, and both have advice to impart to young people seeking a marriage strong enough to flower for nearly 70 years.

Martha recalled a piece of sage advice from a relative from Arizona.

“She said that it's important to pick the right person,” said Martha. “It's really important because if you pick the wrong person and then you get divorced, then you're likely to pick the same type of person again. You just have to know who the right person is.”

Elmar has two practical tips to impart.

“It is very important to start towards having the kind of communication that would generate a good marriage,” said Elmar. “And the other thing is that sex before marriage is a bad idea. It's a good idea to start a marriage with that being the beginning of your sexual friendship.”

The Marriage Sunday Mass will be live-streamed starting at 2:15 p.m. EST on Feb. 9 at https://www.stmichaelscathedral.com/live/.