At the root of most forms of idolatry and falseness lurks fear and forgetfulness. People experience fear in the face of their life situations — as did the Israelites in the midst of the hostile wilderness — and they wonder how they are ever going to make it. Hand in hand with this fear is forgetfulness: people forget God’s past kindness and mercy to themselves and others. They are frantic for immediate deliverance and reassurance so they reach out for whatever they believe will fill the emptiness and stave off the fear.
The people were fearful because Moses had been gone longer than expected on the mountain top and they doubted that he would return. They wanted a visible presence, a god they could see, touch and control, to give them assurance and courage. The story also contains elements of a folktale for Moses had to remind God of His past acts of mercy and kindness, and in the omitted verse even uses a “what will the neighbours think” argument to turn aside divine wrath. God was talked out of it and changed His mind — scarcely the image of God that we are used to. The point of the story endures: we find out what we are made of spiritually and the quality of our relationship with God when the visible means of comfort and support disappear. That is the time for real faith, real fidelity and real perseverance. This is the opposite of the instant gratification that we have come to know and love so much.
Some view past sinfulness as a barrier to ever growing into a relationship with God. Paul begged to differ. He used his own life as a contrary example. He freely admitted his own intolerant and violent persecution of the Christian community but insisted that was absolute proof of the mercy and grace of Christ. People who are sinless and perfect have no need of mercy but none of us is in that category. God meets us where we are and rather than condemning us exercises patience, compassion and mercy. That is who God is and that is how we should treat others.
If forgetfulness characterizes idolatry and infidelity then remembrance is a key element of conversion. The beloved and well-known story of the prodigal son portrays the journey of the soul as it wanders from God and finds its way back. Enticed by boredom, curiosity, a bit of fear and a lack of gratitude, the youngest son left his home with his share of the inheritance and squandered it in dissolute living in a distant land. During the good times he completely forgot his home and who he was. Wandering away from God — getting lost in self — takes us away from our true identity and our awareness of God’s presence. Only the blows of suffering and misfortune brought the young man to his senses: he suddenly remembered his home, his father and his identity. His “amnesia” cured and his sense of gratitude recovering, he began his homeward journey. His Father was overjoyed at his return and had no interest in the son’s grovelling and self-abasement: it was time to celebrate.
In a similar way we too can “remember” our identity and status with God, as well as past kindness and blessing on God’s part, through our own struggle and experience. The elder son obeyed all the rules, was hard-working and didn’t budge from his home. He was upset and angry because he felt cheated — his brother did everything wrong but seemed to end up with everything right. The father insisted that the elder son was always with him and everything was already his. But like so many, he was so close to the father and yet so far — his mind and heart were closed. The younger son forgot and remembered what the elder son never knew: God is closer than our own heartbeat and offers us the treasure of the kingdom.